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Passion of the Kenny - A workbook

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  • Passion of the Kenny - A workbook

    gonna seed, write and edit a fricking Kenny novel all in this continuously edited thread. Come back often, this could be fun. No, you can't add things, this is my thing.
    This is bound to get really tedious I imagine.

    You selfish man Rusty, not wanting other people to contribute. Dick.

    People can still comment Koto, I don't have a problem with that.

    Ok I comment you are a dick. Locking me in basement "by mistake" for all the time your HLBB funplace was off the internet. You forgot about me.

    I swear to you Koto, I did not forget about you. It's just that Facebook doesn't have an italics feature.


    possible titles
    Kenny and Kurgan
    The Kenny Khronicles
    "I Will Never Get To Ride That Ride - Kenny - An Autobiography"


    kenny the kowboy
    "Don't say a word." Kenny pointed a leather glove made sometime during the Southern Reconstruction (65-77) at a milliner that had to branch out to leather gloves because people were turning down their noses at women hats for some reason. No one ever found out why.
    'Barry's Hats and Fancy Gloves factory was across from the Olesons Mercantile at the corners of 6th Ave. and Sixth Street, don't bother looking for it now, it's gone and remains only in Kenneth and Kurgans memory. Some dude named Charles Ingalls blew the whole town up. Not joking, blew it up. Google it.

    ---

    "You should get a smaller horse, you wouldn't have to climb up and down as far to get on and off it." Kurgan dusted off his chaps as Kenny fumed.
    The two sauntered into a wooden structure and sat down on wood made from local sourced trees turned into timber, lumber and what not. The word "Saloon" painted in red and black stayed outside.

    "Little young, ain't you son?" Percy the 'tender polishes his bar top with a rag. I don't know where the rag was made but Percy bought it down the street at "Rags n' Pickled Eggs" for a whole nickle. Very niche and plebeian town Walnut Grove is on 12 June in the year of the Lord 1877. (check watcher chrons)
    Kurgan gurgles first, "He's a midget."
    "I'm a midget.", Kenny follows.
    "Ok." Percy slaps the rag over his shoulder, his right one, your left and plants his palms against the edge of the bar. So "Whadlleyouhave?"
    "What do you have?" Kenny fidgets in his seat, he needs a bath. Really bad. (I'm not going there, don't worry)
    "Everything but water."






    kenny the proprietor

    "It was Duncan that gave me the idea. He reminded me of who I am.", Kenny stops and stares at Amanda for a split second, exactly the same amount of time it takes your brain to realize that you stubbed your toe. That feeling of knowing, that between the stubbing and the brain catching up, is enough time to know that pain is coming.
    "Come with me." It was more of a demand than request but Amanda took Kennys hand and they headed outside.




    ask permission from immortal lady before posting.
    Jonor Jones's photo.








    "Her."
    "Why?"
    "Trust me."
    "Ok."
    Kenny, Kurgan, Kenny, Kurgan. Back and forth they went, the sun set without either of them noticing as they flipped page after page of mugshots in The Kurgans musty man cave.

    Kenny had bought 267 books of mugshots from a storage facility auction and in all honesty came out way ahead for only a 45 dollar investment.

    "Look up ahh," Kenny checks the name on the bottom of the mugshot, "Penny Anne Kowalski. Hey check this out, one of her alias is Penny the Pincher.
    She was in for shoplifting, and oh wow, 5 years later she stole the Hope Diamond. We hit gold."

    recuited to help the two steal something
    amanda gets involved
    this happens post handcuff meeting
    random kenny kurgan from facebook posts

    "Perfect example right here. Come here, smell this."
    Kenny held the branch, laden with pink, a hiacincth, with one tiny hand as he motioned come hither with his other. Yes, 'come hither', get over it.
    Kurgan turned his head, askance, yes, askance and said, "I don't wanna. Flowers are for girls hair and funerals."
    Silence.
    "Just smell it you oaf. Stop and smell the damn flower. Then after, get all your aggression out and rip those from the branch, we are making tea. Yes, I'm going to teach the great Kurgan how to make tea. Then much later I might cut your throat while you sleep. Oops, I was too late, someone beat me to it."
    "Ramirezzz." Kurgan growls.
    "No, my name is Kenny. You should really know that by now big guy. Come here, come here...." Kenny starts patting his thighs with his hands.

    --

    Kenny lowered his pilfered from Wal-Mart bright yellow Tuff Tyke toy binoculars that were just seconds ago peering into the MPOP Museum in Seattle.
    "Yeah, yeah, it can be done, I can squeeze in there no problem. But why do you want it?"
    "You ask too many questions boy." The Kurgan decrouches and reveals himself, walking through the blooming Bearberry shrubbery that, just seconds ago hid his rather large framed body. He's gonna feel that later on his exposed skin, Bearberry shrubs are notorious for their toxic oil that brings men to their knees and boys running to their mothers screaming something fierce.
    "Call me 'boy' one more time Larry and I swear I wil..."
    "Why do you insist on calling me Larry? The Kurgan stopped walking, turned around and down, facing Kenny.
    "Because every time I say 'Kurgan' it sounds and feels like I'm gargling hairballs."
    "Fair enough."


    "My skin is on fire." Kurgan thrusts his forearm in Kennys direction.
    "I told you not to walk through the Bearberry bushes, I told you that. You LAID in them. Also, right now you are getting really really red on your arms. And face. Larry you are not going to like this. Hey, stop itching. Oh. That was quick. The boils forming on your skin were caused by the Bearberry oil that were on the leaves that I told you, again reminding, I told you not to walk through. You are like a living Herman Munster, you know that, right? STOP ITCHING!! Ok, ok, here it is, I have to pee on you to help you. Or, you have to pee on you but I'm not touching you."
    "Science. Like jellyfish stings. I get it. You get my left arm, I have my right."
    "Oh. Yes, exactly. Wow, Larry Munster has read a book. Eyes front."
    (un-zzziippp)
    "Thank you."
    "Damn Bearberry bus...."
    "I can't pee on you while you are talking."
    This went on for about half a minute, Kenny running out of ammo first.




    Kenny follows but has to half step it a bit quicker to keep up with The Kurgans step swath as they both amble towards the aformentioned MPOP Museum in Seattle...."


    --

    Kenny sings the Little Drummer boy. Tears fell. He had the little drum too, just banging away, little arms flailing like a wind up toy. That scene will be in the quickflash overview at my death some talk about, of this I'm certain.


    --

    Kennys Sit Down With Joe.

    "It was later that I became a predator. I chose it.
    "This is what you are not getting Joe. I was averaging 2 years before I had to move on. A little kid not growing up turns heads. Then, invariably, the brains in those heads think 'witch'. Then I have to move on. You know it's coming, you can tell. You can practically see the love they had for you leave their eyes.
    Your 'books' don't have half of it.
    Last edited by Rusty Bollocks; 06-02-2017, 08:10 AM.

  • #2
    Hey! What happened to the mortal wife of the abusive Immortal whose head Kenny had taken? The one he was seducing?!

    Comment


    • Rusty Bollocks
      Rusty Bollocks commented
      Editing a comment
      Damn I wish I had a copy of that, I beLIEve that was my finest work.

    • dubiousbystander
      dubiousbystander commented
      Editing a comment
      Oh dear! Perhaps you can rewrite it?

  • #3
    Never turns out the same Db. It's like, 'now wait a minute, I didn't have aliens in the first one.'

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